I first want to say I have been over weight all my life. I went on my first diet at the age of thirteen.I wanted to start junior high by not having the kids call me names like they did in grade school.I was up and down with my weight.After I married I started putting more and more weight on with each child I had.My father pass away because of lung cancer.I smoke like he did.This really put fear in me that I could die the same way if I didnt stop smoking.I was able to stop,but found I starting gaining more weight again.I started eating in place of smoking.At the age of 51 my weight was 500.I was very ill I didnt realize just how sick I was till I got a bad leg infection.I went to ER because I was in so much pain.They admitted me because they thought I would have to have my leg removed to save my life.As they were moving me to my room my heart and my lungs started shuting down. My four children were call to the hospital because they didnt think I would make it though the night.By the grace of God I did.I was in ICU on a ventalater for two weeks.I went home losing 100 pounds in two weeks.I lose another 70 pounds within two more months.I found out I had stop breathing so much while I slept it damage my heart.My heart was so weak water pooled in my legs till it formed sores that cause the infection,I went from 500 to 315 in about three months.I was doing so good. I started having alot of pain which doctor told me I had fibermaylia, I went through a time of depression and having to go to the hospital because my heart would go into Afib, I would have to have my heart shocked back into normal beat.I because so discouraged I just gave up trying to get my health back.I regain part of my weight back I now weigh 400.My doctor ask me about having weight reduction surgery.He said I have five years of medical information that I would need for Medicare would aprove.I could fine only one doctor that would except my insurance.I went to the first session they wanted new people to go to.I told them I wanted to have it.I got a letter in the mail that said that Medicare insurers had to pay $2400. up front before they will begin to put me through their program.I have been on disablity for five years. We dont have that kind of money.I felt very bad as I had such great hope I could have this.I have always beleive there were reasons why doors our shut.I was told I could turn all my health problems around if I got the weight off.I made up my mind I dont want to in up in ICU again.I decide to start my journey without the surgery.I found being a part of this group gave me the strengh to start taking control of my life and making right choices for my journey to being a healthy person.I have been eating right and I can tell I am losing good.I cant get my weight till my weight gets down to where my doctor scales can record it.My last record of my weight was when I was in the hospital in May of last year it was 414.My doctor told me my heart is just going to give out because it is already weak from my sleep disorder and its to hard on my heart to carry this much weight.I know not everyone can stay on a diet to lose weight I dont even know if I can keep going till I reach my goal of 147. I got to try as my children can not deal with losing me.I cant hurt them any more.I am expecting my tenth grandchild in July I want to see him.I feel for now I am doing good with my weight loss. I still leave the door open for weight surgery in the future.I feel any weight I can get off by then, will help me to have a better recovery.